MNDFL = mindful

In 2021, the world was still deep in its COVID response. Most of us were at home and still taking extraordinary precautions. I was in a seeking phase. I had joined many programs to decolonize my mind and my therapy/coaching offerings. These were somewhat new concepts to me. I was working from home for the first time. I imagine this time hop came up for me because I am transferring all of my writing onto this website. Eventually, Substack is not a place I will keep visiting. I did not put all of my writing here at first because, as a therapist, we are meant to keep coaching businesses separate from therapy work. It is to protect the consumer. Is it a way to discourage us from doing both? Either way, the therapy is now located at Authentic Alliance, and this is the coaching site.

So, in general, for me, 2025 is a time of looking both back and forward. The thing I want to share is meditation!

In 2021, I completed a meditation course that has provided me with deep support over the last five years. It’s called MNDFL. I started meditating in high school, though mainly in the "I got high and loved sitting by a stream with my BFF" category. I don’t discount it, even though I will point out the lack of rigor in those early experiences. These formative moments, along with seeing the Grateful Dead and other "jam bands," and discussing the inequities of the world with friends, all helped expand my consciousness. I began interacting with people who didn’t view everything through a Western Christian lens. Fast forward to 2021, and I started the MNDFL program.

"MNDFL is a state-of-the-art training program offered by an unparalleled collective of expert teachers and scientists. Learn from fourteen individuals, including three neuroscientists and a neurosurgeon."

Fifty % of their teaching staff identify as BIPOC or Global Majority individuals, and all facilitated classes have BIPOC/Global Majority leadership. I’m still returning to my own slideshow to inspire me. These slides are stored on Google Drive, so I will find a way to share them here or on other social media platforms as I try to transition away from Google storage.

As I started to write this morning, I remembered the night before our weekend-long retreat to complete the 75-hour MNDFL program, an email came through. We were asked to watch two white men discuss mindfulness. It was an interesting challenge, but I’m pretty sure I made it through both talks. Even though they are old, they’re vast and inspiring. Please read below for my quick takeaway.

John Dunne, PhD - Understanding Mindfulness: Heuristic Accounts
Evan Thompson, PhD - Context Matters: Steps to an Embodied Cognitive Science of Mindfulness

Essentially, I’m bringing these talks and these individuals into this discussion because they shed light on what has been, and still is, the gold standard of teaching mindfulness in a medical/health setting: MBSR (Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction). MBSR is not ineffective, but in short (and I’m REALLY simplifying here), these folks are saying there’s a context to everything. Our minds are not only just neurons and thoughts in our brains, and mindfulness is not simply about paying attention on purpose—though that’s a definition I can recite after studying meditation/MBSR in graduate school. Meditation is derived from Buddhism, and it’s doing much more than what we see on a Functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging (fMRI) scan in many research studies. I’m sharing all of this to let you know that I love geeking out on meditation.

I meditate on New Year’s Eve. I’ve done this a good bit since the pandemic started; in four out of the last five years, I was on a cushion returning to myself (during meditation practice). I once met my Buddhist teacher in Times Square, had a cup of soup, watched the ball drop, and then went home to Brooklyn. I have to say, these are some of my favorite ways to celebrate our Judeo-Christian calendar.

I guess these disclosures let you know that when I offer to support you in your meditation practice, I’ve put in the time. Though I don’t have a formal Buddhist grounding, I immensely love the philosophy. It took the place of my Christian upbringing when I felt pretty lost. Deep down, I think I knew the church and the people I had been surrounded by wouldn’t all love me if I were an out queer radical person. For some, I imagine that’s still true. I don’t hear from them much.

For those of you still reading, and you want to meet to meditate, shoot me an email.

All the links are always here:

https://linktr.ee/bhopeb

I have some old images of art from a long-ago Instagram account that I deleted when I completed this meditation course. The photo below shows two trees, a moon, a 3D box, and a broken heart. A large part of the painting is black and features the words “bodies of culture” written in what appears to be drops of blood flowing into the earth. There are two mugs beside the art, one containing pencils and the other containing markers. The one with markers has a broken handle, and the text says, “Feminist all day err day.”

In solidarity,

Bridget

bridget@bridgetbertrand.com

coaching or therapy

You may be wondering: Should I join Bridget’s coaching program or sign up for therapy?

This is an important question, so let’s explore it together.

Coaching and therapy both support personal growth and healing, but they differ in key ways. While I wish some of these boundaries could be softened, similar to systemic change, that won’t happen overnight. So, for now, we navigate within the existing frameworks. I also value oversight in healing spaces, as many of us—including myself—have encountered less-than-ethical practitioners.

What is Coaching?

Coaching focuses on helping individuals or groups achieve specific personal or professional goals. As a coach, I emphasize community, collective engagement, and systemic change. A major aspect of my approach involves dismantling white supremacist thinking and fostering inclusive spaces.

Coaching is typically forward-focused, emphasizing action plans, skill development, and goal-setting. While it may resemble therapy in some ways, my coaching practice involves more direct instruction than my therapy work. (Concepts adapted from The Knowledge Academy.)

Coaching is an unregulated field with no governing body or licensing board. In some ways I see the possibility of many folks being able to jump in and offer services. I like the barrier to a Master’s degree and the astronomical tuition being unnecessary. Additionally, insurance does not cover coaching, and you cannot use your HSA/FSA to pay for it.

What is Therapy?

Therapists use diagnostic codes for insurance reimbursement and work with clients experiencing mental health disorders—though I prefer to frame them as mental health challenges. In therapy, we also acknowledge how systems of oppression impact mental health.

Unlike coaching, therapists operate within a regulated profession, adhering to ethical guidelines set by licensing boards. Therapists typically share less of their personal opinions and life experiences, focusing instead on clinically informed interventions.

My Practice and Boundaries

As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), I can only provide therapy to clients in California, though I may reside elsewhere within the U.S. To expand my impact, I’ve relaunched my coaching practice, which is open to a broader audience.

Important distinctions:

• I do not work with current therapy clients in my coaching practice.

• If you join my coaching program, you cannot transition to therapy with me later.

• We will discuss these policies further during intake.

Next Steps

If you’re interested in coaching, I invite you to sign up for a free 30-minute session. Feel free to share this post with others who might benefit from this work. If you are interested in therapy with me, I have available time slots for adults in the morning and early afternoon.

Warmly,
Bridget Bertrand (she/her)
Expressive Arts Facilitator and Coach
Work phone (text okay): 650-539-4325

I work and offer land tax to the Muwekma, Ohlone, and Ramaytush peoples. Learn whose land you are on and consider contributing: Native Land

check in

I'm having trouble writing right now (meaning in 2025). Back in February, when I started this entry, I wrote: “Even as much as I try to stay focused on what I can do, the attacks from this current president have our house in emotional rough seas.” I would say now, in July, we (my partner and I) have found a way to stay active and very engaged in our community.

In September, I am finally hitting publish! It has been a long year!?

You too? Hit reply, tell me how you are holding up.

Here I am, continuing to buoy myself and sharing what has been helping. You might be able to guess that it’s meditation, cultivating practices like “Obscured Journaling,” and creating art in my new office, which looks a lot different now from the video attached here.

Thanks for reading “Transformation Collective Space”!

This post is public, so feel free to share it.

www.bridgetbertrand.com

I have a vast array of art supplies there (in the office and at home). I moved into this new office on February 2, 2025, after a brief trip to the East Coast to celebrate with a fantastic friend who had turned 50. It was a whirlwind of a day/week/era.

All the politics in Turtle Island are a LOT. There are a handful that give me hope, and many who leave me screaming in my head.

So, onward we go, fighting, making it through the day, and so I hope some of this is helpful to you. I used to practice obscured journaling a lot more. My work Instagram handle was “obscured journaler.” Here is a short, ancient video of me engaging in this journaling process.

https://youtube.com/shorts/Jwp_2CYwFgE?si=vuNDQBT88ZAMUCSu

What supplies do I use? When creating a practice aimed at cultivating a deep level of calm (sometimes referred to as art journaling), I found that you need a paper thicker than 98 lbs. I work with watercolor gouache, pen, pencils, and Mod Podge. Can you use copy paper or many craft papers (sure), but the paper rolls can be disappointing. There were times when I scoffed at the necessity of having beautiful paper. No longer; if you can spend $20 or visit a local thrift store, you will likely find some gently used art supplies. It doesn't have to be that pricey. If you are local to the Bay Area, check out https://www.scrap-sf.org/home.

Another way to save money is to use Gesso to paint over canvas and old journals. Sometimes, I use the ends of old paper pads —the cardboard (back) and the front flap—to make a fun mini-portfolio. I enjoy creating new books with random pieces of paper that I use for other process-based pieces.

Last year, I used a gallon of gesso, and there were days in my life —years and years, actually—when I never even painted. So, reuse, ♻️ reduce, and recycle ♻️ y’all.

I just found this fantastic place through a quick web search: https://www.dharmatrading.com/. Buying the materials is half the fun of cultivating an art practice. I will get back to you about the fun supplies, beyond alcohol inks, you can buy at Dharma Trading! I love alcohol inks, so I am glad to buy them from somewhere more ethical than big box stores.

I have cultivating / journaling/ meditation sessions available (online and in my new office in SF). You can simply text or email to learn more. bridget@bridgetbertrand.com.

Friends, family & colleagues are welcome to a one-off expressive arts session; 🙏🏻 I am happy to receive your money 💰;) I send 10% of my post-tax earnings to the global majority members of my community or to other fund me’s etc (which are a kind of mutual aid, of course). If you’re unsure what this means, please ask me. Additionally, you can join the "Mighty Network,” a free platform to share your cultivation experiences. It is the first link on this link tree now.

https://linktr.ee/bhopeb

You might notice I am aiming to shift my language around what I am doing over here (leaving out the “a” word, art). I want to invite the word: cultivate:

cultivate /kŭl′tə-vāt″/

transitive verb

To improve and prepare (land) by plowing or fertilizing to raise crops; till.

To loosen or dig soil around (growing plants).

To grow or tend (a plant or crop).

and growing and tending to myself and my family is included too

Meditation is also a cultivation. It is something like this: "The practice of meditation is learning to ‘live’ in the stillness

beneath all change, which is the true center, or the point at which we can return.

Curious who I have been learning and unlearning with? Here is a list of MANY folks! Google Doc with extra support for you

Are you interested in journaling? Perhaps we could meditate together; shoot me a text at 650-539-4325?

My directions to you: pour the paint on the canvas, roll on the floor, sit in the numbness, the anger….the grief, the disbelief; let it flow out of you in any way you can. Next step: call someone who cares and speak openly. Text, blog, vlog, (privately perhaps)…. Please don’t worry or say, “I’m worried it’s too much for you”…. Sweet heart ❤️…. That’s my job …. All of our jobs to say….” I’m at capacity today…. I’ll be back in touch tomorrow…. Or Saturday….”. What’s your way, though, dear ones? Share … lift each other 💞

https://bit.ly/nourishallowexpand (an at-home workshop you can also request for your small group).

https://bit.ly/profoundsteps (this is the Google link from above)

https://bit.ly/resourcesfromtransformationcollective (This is the same information from above, but on a Notion link, for all my non-Google folks, brava!)

https://bit.ly/thetimetoresistisnow (many ideas of ways to keep resisting)

https://bit.ly/sciencennotcompliance (a letter to adapt and fight for gender affirming care of all types for all ages in CA).

Lastly, if you live in SF and would like to help get ICE out, please fill this out. I can help you with the evidence (email me) https://www.sf.gov/file-sanctuary-city-ordinance-complaint

Thank you for being here. I am in solidarity with you!

Love, B (any pronouns), and you can still call me Bridget

PS, soon some words about the “empty nest”…

Sobriety

Sobriety was something I thought of a lot when I lived in New York City from 1996 to 2005. I met my first friends who were in AA, and boy, do I love a group. The only thing I knew about those meetings was what I had seen in films or on TV shows. I did not know anyone growing up who did not drink (literally zero people). When I saw those two fellows all of those years ago across the table at the local Irish Pub where we all hung out drinking beer and them with their sodas, I wanted to know the depth of what I saw between them. We were/are actors and now therapists/social workers. It's fascinating but not surprising.

I just found this song by Kendrick Lamar, and though it does not entirely resonate, some lines hit pretty deep.

https://youtu.be/B5YNiCfWC3A?feature=shared

I have been sober for over three years, so here is a little celebration post. I have a small community of friends who don't drink (for various reasons). Some are actively involved in a recovery program, while others are not. It feels so solid and necessary to be sober for me at this time.

Sober, one definition does not apply:

"...straightforward and serious; not exaggerated, emotional, or silly." I have emotional sobriety mostly in check, but I aim to be silly every day!

Image ID: The above art was painted with Koi watercolors this AM. There are small marks in all the colors of the rainbow and bigger washes of yellow, brown, red, and orange. The dirty brown paint water sits on the Koi watercolor box.

I don't attend 12-step groups regularly now. Initially, two years ago, I went daily, then every week, and I petered out at once a month. I plan to work the steps in ALANON because, ultimately, my “why” is the family trauma so many of us have. For you, perhaps it is that great-grandfather whose actions then traumatized you because of your father's self-loathing (this is not my exact story, just saying, don't we all have self-loathing at some point)? And is this self-loathing not often tied to a need to self-medicate? If drugs have not been your thing, it might be your inner hell is perpetrated by a negative voice (that dreaded inner critic). Those thoughts that keep you up at night and tell you you are less than. That voice needs a strong bear hug, or I hope this sweet raccoon might help.

Be your drug of choice: scrolling, shopping, drinking, drugging, sexing, etc.; many of us have these human struggles in spades. Initially, I called myself a "Brene' Brown" sober. Brene' has talked about her sobriety and the drinking she did, and I related to that. (click to read her story). There are so many famous sober people, too many to name. A second one who has inspired me deeply is https://www.codycookparrott.com/!

The most important takeaway I have as I end this sober celebration… our culture is obsessed with alcohol, and I am glad to be done with that obsession. I call myself California sober because here and there, I will have some cannabis. I might do some medicine work someday, but 99% of my days, I run on art, dance, meditation, and love. Alcohol and nicotine used to be the things I looked for to take the edge off, and that no longer worked. Well, it was never actually working. I have so much more space in my brain. The amount of time I worried about how I acted on even two glasses of wine is slightly obscene.

Two years ago, I told a friend I was getting sober, and she said, "Forever"? I said, yup, that is the plan. I think a lot of people did not know I had a “drinking problem”. I think, in part, I would agree, but I had a hard-on-myself problem. I still have a tendency to be too hard on myself sometimes, but it is much better. Alcohol, weed, and cigarettes were tools I used to continue to oppress myself. Every morning, the night after I had one - three glasses of wine and /or one- three beers, I would wake up with a headache/hangover. Especially as my forties arrived, I was reminded of the substances trying to eek their way out of my blood system. In my teens and onward, the hangovers were worse, so it is a complete relief to have those gone and work with the inner psychic space that remains. I am sober and silly. Questions that remain yet to be fully answered: How did I fall into those traps of our culture? How can I keep my son safe from these traps? I have a ton of work to do, and yet I stand here, and I can say I am in recovery from the worst thing any of us can do: self-recrimination and self-betrayal. Returning to ourselves is always the answer. Maybe you have many breaths each day that nourish you amid these trying times.

Thanks for reading; please connect with all my offers here:

https://linktr.ee/bhopeb

With love, Bridget